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Interviewing 101

August 27, 2008 · Filed Under RANDOM WEIRDNESS 

Today we have a post by the goat’s good friend Bob Loblaw. Although it isn’t sports related, the goat found it hilarious and very appropriate for today’s struggling economy. Enjoy…

by Bob Loblaw... Being in the middle of a job search myself, I’ve become somewhat of an “expert” on the business environment. I think the unemployment rate is pretty close to 32% right now in Massachusetts. That’s pretty high! (We are not officially in a depression yet though, that would call for an unemployment rate of 70% or something. Don’t quote me on that though.)

As I go through my search, I’ve compiled a list of some interviewing tips and tricks that may help out any fellow job seekers. I’ve talked to other job seekers in the past about their job search and I am continually amazed at how almost all of them are going about it all wrong! I won’t write a novel here but wanted to throw out a few key “pointers.”

You got the interview. Good for you. They are probably going to ask you lots of questions. One they might ask, “What do you know about us?” Say “Nothing” and then shut up. Many job seekers make the mistake of rambling on about everything they know about the company. Don’t make this mistake!

By saying that you don’t know anything about who they are or what they do, it gives the interviewer a chance to talk. And people love to talk about their company and what they do! Show interest by leaning forward while putting your elbow on the table and resting your chin on your closed fist. Keep saying “yup” even if you are not paying attention so the interviewer thinks that you are.

You may get asked, “What’s your greatest weakness?” Don’t fall into this trap either. You don’t have any. Next question.

Another trick to keep in mind is for each question they ask, start by saying “That’s a great question.” This gives you some time to think and formulate your answer. Rather than sounding like a broken record, use variations of this each time:

“Awesome, awesome question. Kudos. Seriously.”

“Wow, nice work. I’m glad you asked me that one!”

“Are you fucking kidding me? The questions keep getting better and better.”

“Holy fucking shit! Did you just ask me what I think you asked me? No doubt you are a skilled interviewer, my friend. Outstanding question.”

At the end of the interview, you will likely get asked if you have any questions. The first question should absolutely be: how much money are you going to pay me? No matter what their response is, yours should be “That’s not enough!” and flip over the table or something. It shows a couple of things: they are not going to get you easy and that you have passion. Employers love that.

After you are out of questions and they ask if you have any more: Take this opportunity to show something about your personality. A dance move that you recently made up, for example, works great in this situation! It shows the “real you” and none of the other candidates are likely using this technique which helps you stand out from the rest of the pack.

Also, make a list of things that you promise to do if you get hired. Read it at the end of the interview. (Assuming you are sitting down, it helps to stand up now to read the list. For a more dramatic effect, stand on the chair.)

Companies hire potential candidates for two reasons: You make them laugh and/or they think you’re cute. Candidates usually get hung up on the job description, qualifications and requirements. Wrong. Look good and have a couple of jokes during the interview. It really is that simple.

To land that coveted job interview: networking is key. Think of where your friends work and go directly to those companies. Take a walk around and see if you can find your friend. It is likely that they don’t even work there and were lying to you about it for some reason.

If you can’t find your friend, stop and ask people at random if there are any job opportunities there. If they don’t seem to know or are unable to help, this is your opportunity to really sell yourself. Be persistent! Follow them and explain what you do and what you have to offer. You are making contacts and that is key for landing interviews and your next endeavor. Good luck!

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