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Welcome To The Machine

September 26, 2008 · Filed Under MLB, RED SOX 

-Today we have the much anticipated debut post of Tiny Danza. He brings it hard as expected, coming right out of the gates with a fuck you to the Yankees and the Pink Hats of Sox Nation. Nice work Tiny.

- by Tiny Danza… Earnest Hemingway once wrote in The Old Man and the Sea - “…Son never lose faith in the Yankees.” Well fuck Hemingway! He ended up in Cuba anyway didn’t he? And fuck The Yankees! Their season, dynasty and crummy little “house” have all crumbled before our very eyes. And while the love fest at B.S.P is going down I’m comin’ with a lovin’ spoonful for my main man Theo “Boy Genius” Epstein. While many of us were crying in our Yaz painter’s caps because Billy “Moneyball” Beane spurned the Sox and their lucrative offer in ‘02 to take over baseball operations. The Sox subsequently hired a young nobody and Luchino protege named Theo Epstein. Upon being hired Theo outlined 4 prominent organizational goals which are outlined and dissected in the proceeding paragraphs:

1. Re-build the moribund minor league system by making it a “…player development machine” -Check

The Yankee dynasty of yesteryear was not solely the by-product of the Steinbrenner Cabbage farm, but came to fruition in spite of it. Contrary to popular belief those Championship Yankee teams were built upon the backs of: Jeter, Rivera, Posada, Pettite, Williams, Soriano and Mendoza (yes there WAS a time he was very effective) all drafted and developed in their system to form a rock solid nucleus. Homegrown cheap talent filling spots at: S.S., CL, C, SP, C.F, 2nd, RP encompassing the most important positions in middle of the field.

Possessing upwards $200 million didn’t hurt either, well at least not at first. You see having that much Cabbage allows teams/G.M.’S to be more aggressive but also allows/exaggerates their mistakes e.g., Pavano, Irabu, Giambi, etc. etc.. And like the call of the siren, the allure of pricey free-agents and sexy trades at the expense of young/cheap talent will leave your franchise stranded on the rocks for YEARS. Just LOOK at the Yankees pitching staff for next year as proof. $200 mill and you’ve got: Rivera, Joba, and well…. SHITE! Hughes and Kennedy have been less productive than Irabu the infamous “Fat Toad” in the popular Yankee fable. Mussina and Pettite both faced Honus Wagner as rookies while Pavano will be retiring giving his body to medical research. A confluence of events that’s left the once proud Yankee farm system as potent as a Giuliani seamen sample and the roster just as useless. All the while BOY WONDER has stockpiled: Beckett (TRD), Dice (FA), Lester, Delcarmen and Papelbon in their collective prime, with Bucholz, Masterson, Bowden, and Bard on the horizon. Not to mention: Youk, Pedroia, Ellsbury, Lowrie in the everyday line-up with Lars Anderson, and Argenis “I’ll win 8 gold gloves” Diaz on their way. The indisputable fact remains that in 4 years the Sox farm system has gone from laughing stock to “player development machine”. Welcome to the machine my friends welcome.

2. Reach the Post-season every year - *5 out of 6

Technically *4 of 5 as Theo’s contract dispute kept him away for the ‘05 season although it still was a team he assembled. Let’s see, ‘03 you lose a heart-breaking game 7 to the Spanks, ‘04 you win in the ultimate of fashions and make SPORTS history, ‘05 you lose to the eventual World Champ Chi Sox, Injury plagued ‘06 no p-offs, ‘07 you win another World Series and ‘08 another chance in the tourney. Hmm? Think we’d have taken that in ‘02? Just git’ to the tourney baby!

3. Win World Series - 2 and counting

The aforementioned two Championships are the fruits of the labor from goals 1 and 2. It’s what many of Sox nation has been lusting after for years and have received beyond their wildest dreams. So let me take this time to share a little secret with most of you from Sox Nation. Shhh, come closer… YOU’RE NOT ON THE F’ING TEAM… Sox Nationalism has gotten way out of control, reel it in ladies. Treat it for what it is, Entertainment! You’re not Bernie “F-ing” Carbo! Put down the game jersey and get a hold of yourselves! YOU’RE NOT ON THE F-ing TEAM!!! Subject for a coming article: (SOX) Nationalism is next to Imperialism

4. T-bag remaining G.M’s in the league - Artistic embellishment for this one -

Not too sure about ya’ll but my indoctrination into Red Sox Nationalism was to watch year after year and player after player leave or be traded out of town due to the perpetual frugalities err, cheapness of the ownership and unmentionable, incomprehensible myopic stupidity of their management which was as synonymous with the Red Sox as Fenway itself. Everyone is familiar with tales of Harry Frazee, Babe Ruth and “No, No Nannette”. But how ’bout members of Sox Management, under the leadership of our own Tom “fetch me some juice…BOY” Yawkey, shouting from roof boxes, “get that Nigger of the field!” Who just happened to be Jackie Robinson, OOPS! Same thing happened to Willie F-ing Mays! Doh! But that was Long ago and my childhood did not produce such blunders of that magnitude. However, sending Fisks’ and Lynn’s ‘81 contract 2 days late and subsequently losing both to free-agency as a result hardly ranks as keen business acumen, but I digress.

Theo has not ONLY rebuilt the organizational depth to be one of baseball’s best and altered its perception from laughing stock to champion he’s also WON at the same time. And I don’t want to hear about the payroll because as is witnessed by the Yankees, Tigers, Cubs, etc., etc. Cabbage don’t pitch, hit, run, nor win. True it can help sometimes but it can also hurt ya’ bad, just ask Bubba Steinbrenner, Fat George’s belligerent son. Theo didn’t need cabbage to reel in a “Big Papi”, Bellhorn, stealing Millar from a Japanese team was supposed to hurt our relations over there? Dice anyone? Embree, Cora or remember Bill Mueller. Probably forgot since, Mike Lowell, the “throw-in” for the Beckett deal has helped us all forget the man-crush we had on Billy. Nor did he need it to make the Nomar trade, or bring in Dave Roberts, or acquire Schilling for a boat load of prospects that nobodies heard from since. He’s not perfect as is evidenced by the perpetual hole at the S.S. position, the J.D. Drew contract and failure, thus far, to develop a major league catcher, Gagne’ trade etc… Yet what makes him GREAT is his fearlessness to make the deal coupled with his understanding how valuable the minor league/development of players is to form a nucleus. It’s a bag or be bagged league and from where I’m sitting there’s a few G.M’s w/ sweaty chins hanging around MLB.

WELCOME TO THE MACHINE…

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Comments

3 Responses to “Welcome To The Machine”

  1. the goat on September 26th, 2008 5:34 pm

    And meanwhile Skank Steinbrenner can’t keep his fat mouth out of the news saying how the Spankees should be in the playoffs over the Dodgers.

    He is going to completely screw the Yankees up. He seems hell bent on continuing the irresponsible high priced free agent hunting.

    He should look at the Rays, Twins, etc. for inspiration.

  2. McLovin on September 26th, 2008 8:03 pm

    Amen brothers!

  3. The Hambino on September 30th, 2008 3:36 pm

    God Bless you tiny D.

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