Paul Pierce Cuffed… Not Stuffed

August 4, 2008 · Filed Under CELTICS, NBA · 1 Comment 

paul pierce mvpBy the goat… Ahhhh… it’s good to be the king.

Paul Pierce was allegedly acting a tad belligerent during a 3 a.m. traffic stop in Las Vegas. Apparently once cuffed, Paul calmed down a bit and was let go.

This story just adds to the legend of Paul Pierce as far as I am concerned. I am not sure what I like more about this. On the one hand there is the fact that Paul Pierce is still celebrating victory in Las Vegas (anyone else would be dead by now). On the other hand, Paul may be the first athlete in history to get to the point of being cuffed, but not get arrested.

I would imagine the scene went something like this:

Police officer: “Sir do you have any idea why I pulled you over?”

Paul Pierce: “Yeah ‘cuz I’m Paul motherfuckin’ Pierce and you want an autograph!”

Police officer: “Actually sir, you ran three stop lights and are driving quite erratic. It is against the law to have one hand waving out the window with the M.V.P. trophy while the other beeps the horn repeatedly.”

Paul Pierce: “Damn dood, you trying to kill my buzz or somethin’, we the champs fool!”

Police officer: “Um, that happened almost two months ago sir, will you please step out of vehicle.”

Paul Pierce: “Fuck this, don’t you know who I am? You got nuthin’ punk!”

Police officer: “Sir due to the way your acting I have no choice but to handcuff you and run some field tests.”

Paul Pierce (now cuffed): “Officer if I may I would like to take a moment to apologize for my prior behavior. As you know I have been through quite an emotional time in my life lately and have admittedly been caught up in the whirlwind. I would hope that this emotion I have succumbed to is in no way misconstrued, nor misinterpreted as offensive behavior towards you, or anyone employed by the commonwealth of Nevada. I would also like to take a moment and express that you will have my complete cooperation in all matters that may pertain to having this incident come to a swift and hopefully fair conclusion for all those involved.”

Police officer: “Well that is very nice of you Mr. Pierce, my superior officer has arrived on the scene and I have received the go ahead to settle this matter with a warning and a few photos of my fellow officers and yourself.”

Paul Pierce: “Now we talkin’ homey! Let’s set this off proper, I gots my digi in the trunk dog!”

Police officer: “Word?!?!”

Paul Pierce: “Word!”

Ahhhh… it’s good to be the king.

Tags: , ,

House And Allen Signed

July 21, 2008 · Filed Under CELTICS, NBA · 2 Comments 

eddie houseby the goat… Well there is good news and bad news today from the Celtics. The good news is that they signed Eddie House to a deal where he will make $2.7 million next year and $2.9 million in 2010 if he decides to exercise his option. Good news indeed, House is the M.L. Carr of this incarnation of the Celtics, just replace the towel wave with the double collar pop. His dead eye from long range helps force defenses to return to staying honest on the perimeter when he comes off the bench to replace a struggling Rondo. Excellent signing, couldn’t be happier.

The bad news? Tony Allen signed a two year $5million deal to remain a Celtic as well. By my calculations that means that Tony will make approximately one dollar every time he turns the ball over. Nothing is more frustrating than watching someone dribble around three guys, create an open lane to the basket and dribble the ball off his foot. I am starting to wonder if Tony is dating someone in the organizations daughter or something.

Either way the Celtics are still odds on favorites to go back to back and not even Tony Allen can affect the the elation in Boston right now.

Recent posts by the goat

Tags: , , ,

Garnett Is Officially A Bostonian

July 19, 2008 · Filed Under CELTICS, NBA · 1 Comment 

kevin garnettby the goat… Look at this photo closely, do you notice something? That is K.G. at the ESPY awards. By the way, in case you live under a rock, the Celtics beat out the Red Sox to win team of the year, it seems the only way Boston can lose anything these days is to get beat by… Boston.

Anyway back to Kevin Garnett, in that photo of him at the ESPYs he is wearing diamond studded Red Sox earrings. That’s it, sorry Minnesota, I know it was lightning fast but K.G. is officialy a Boston native son. He is ours. All Garnett Timberwolves jerseys can be turned in at your local post office to be disposed of in a proper fashion.

Has any athlete on the planet ever changed and then subsequently earned his stripes as quick as Garnett? He was traded to Boston on July 31, 2007, K-day, and in less than a year he has chest pounded his way into the hearts of every single notoriously skeptical Bostonian. Intensity and passion will go a long way, winning a championship pretty much gets you there, but to seal the deal? Red Sox earings.

Game over. Break out the baked beans and Sam Adams, Kevin is officially a Bostonian.

Recent posts by the goat

Tags: , ,

Posey, Budweiser No Longer “Ours”

July 16, 2008 · Filed Under CELTICS, NBA · 4 Comments 

Posey and Budweiserby the goat… I am not sure what I am more upset about today, on the one hand we have news that James Posey signed a four year $25 million contract with the New Orleans Hornets. Posey won my prestigious “Riding in a convertible with the top down and windows up” award last season for being effective but not looking very good doing it.

On the other hand we have the news that may be the most disturbing thing to happen in many years. InBev, a Belgian brewer has bought Anheuser-Busch. To display the gravity of this situation, here is a list of beers that are no longer American: Read more

Tags: , ,