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The Olympics Are On?
by the goat… I have no idea how it happened, but somehow I am into the Olympics.
It may have been the U.S. beating the French swimmers who had shit talked the Americans.
French swimmer Alain Bernard fueled a media frenzy before the men’s relay when he said:
“The Americans, we are going to smash them, that’s what we came here for.”
Other French team members went so far as to say that the Americans were scared.
When I heard this I was actually nervous. If you think about it swimming can be a form of fleeing, and the French have so much of that in their history that it is entirely possible it has altered their DNA.
They very easily could have developed gills and webbed feet just in case they have to flee down the Seine when the Luxembourg Army takes Paris. Thankfully they did not, and the U.S. made Frenchie eat his words (what I will forever refer to as the “Beijing Breakfast”).
I also found quite a bit of enjoyment watching the Mens Basketball team destroy the Chinese. At one point about 30 U.S. points in a row were the result of Lebron James taking (not stealing or blocking, literally physically removing) the ball from someone and sending it down court for some ridiculous dunk.
Wal-Mart, Tibet and human rights violations aside, China just scares the living shit out of me. It may be the Cold War upbringing, but they just give me that Rocky IV feeling.They wear red all the time, unless they are wearing their military uniforms. They walk in perfect formation and rarely smile. I get the feeling that just looking at them on television will cause me to get nuked any minute. It’s like the ’80’s with the Russians all over again.
So the U.S. is killing it in the pool, Phelps is 3-0 on his quest to history, mens Basketball smoked the hosts in the first round, Venus and Serena are cruising to the third round and even the mens Gymnastic team was able to eek out a bronze even though they were huge underdogs because they ran out of ham (I must confess I don’t follow gymnastics so I have no idea why their lack of coldcuts would have that effect).
The U.S. is leading the overall medal count, all is right with the world, and somehow I am actually into the Olympics.
Paul Pierce Cuffed… Not Stuffed
By the goat… Ahhhh… it’s good to be the king.
Paul Pierce was allegedly acting a tad belligerent during a 3 a.m. traffic stop in Las Vegas. Apparently once cuffed, Paul calmed down a bit and was let go.
This story just adds to the legend of Paul Pierce as far as I am concerned. I am not sure what I like more about this. On the one hand there is the fact that Paul Pierce is still celebrating victory in Las Vegas (anyone else would be dead by now). On the other hand, Paul may be the first athlete in history to get to the point of being cuffed, but not get arrested.
I would imagine the scene went something like this:
Police officer: “Sir do you have any idea why I pulled you over?”
Paul Pierce: “Yeah ‘cuz I’m Paul motherfuckin’ Pierce and you want an autograph!”
Police officer: “Actually sir, you ran three stop lights and are driving quite erratic. It is against the law to have one hand waving out the window with the M.V.P. trophy while the other beeps the horn repeatedly.”
Paul Pierce: “Damn dood, you trying to kill my buzz or somethin’, we the champs fool!”
Police officer: “Um, that happened almost two months ago sir, will you please step out of vehicle.”
Paul Pierce: “Fuck this, don’t you know who I am? You got nuthin’ punk!”
Police officer: “Sir due to the way your acting I have no choice but to handcuff you and run some field tests.”
Paul Pierce (now cuffed): “Officer if I may I would like to take a moment to apologize for my prior behavior. As you know I have been through quite an emotional time in my life lately and have admittedly been caught up in the whirlwind. I would hope that this emotion I have succumbed to is in no way misconstrued, nor misinterpreted as offensive behavior towards you, or anyone employed by the commonwealth of Nevada. I would also like to take a moment and express that you will have my complete cooperation in all matters that may pertain to having this incident come to a swift and hopefully fair conclusion for all those involved.”
Police officer: “Well that is very nice of you Mr. Pierce, my superior officer has arrived on the scene and I have received the go ahead to settle this matter with a warning and a few photos of my fellow officers and yourself.”
Paul Pierce: “Now we talkin’ homey! Let’s set this off proper, I gots my digi in the trunk dog!”
Police officer: “Word?!?!”
Paul Pierce: “Word!”
Ahhhh… it’s good to be the king.
House And Allen Signed
by the goat… Well there is good news and bad news today from the Celtics. The good news is that they signed Eddie House to a deal where he will make $2.7 million next year and $2.9 million in 2010 if he decides to exercise his option. Good news indeed, House is the M.L. Carr of this incarnation of the Celtics, just replace the towel wave with the double collar pop. His dead eye from long range helps force defenses to return to staying honest on the perimeter when he comes off the bench to replace a struggling Rondo. Excellent signing, couldn’t be happier.
The bad news? Tony Allen signed a two year $5million deal to remain a Celtic as well. By my calculations that means that Tony will make approximately one dollar every time he turns the ball over. Nothing is more frustrating than watching someone dribble around three guys, create an open lane to the basket and dribble the ball off his foot. I am starting to wonder if Tony is dating someone in the organizations daughter or something.
Either way the Celtics are still odds on favorites to go back to back and not even Tony Allen can affect the the elation in Boston right now.
Recent posts by the goat
- I Guess I'm Moving To Montana - October 28th, 2008
- Another Title For Massachusetts! - October 23rd, 2008
- Palin Kills Republicans Chances In Red Sox Nation - October 16th, 2008
Garnett Is Officially A Bostonian
by the goat… Look at this photo closely, do you notice something? That is K.G. at the ESPY awards. By the way, in case you live under a rock, the Celtics beat out the Red Sox to win team of the year, it seems the only way Boston can lose anything these days is to get beat by… Boston.
Anyway back to Kevin Garnett, in that photo of him at the ESPYs he is wearing diamond studded Red Sox earrings. That’s it, sorry Minnesota, I know it was lightning fast but K.G. is officialy a Boston native son. He is ours. All Garnett Timberwolves jerseys can be turned in at your local post office to be disposed of in a proper fashion.
Has any athlete on the planet ever changed and then subsequently earned his stripes as quick as Garnett? He was traded to Boston on July 31, 2007, K-day, and in less than a year he has chest pounded his way into the hearts of every single notoriously skeptical Bostonian. Intensity and passion will go a long way, winning a championship pretty much gets you there, but to seal the deal? Red Sox earings.
Game over. Break out the baked beans and Sam Adams, Kevin is officially a Bostonian.
Recent posts by the goat
- I Guess I'm Moving To Montana - October 28th, 2008
- Another Title For Massachusetts! - October 23rd, 2008
- Palin Kills Republicans Chances In Red Sox Nation - October 16th, 2008
Posey, Budweiser No Longer “Ours”
by the goat… I am not sure what I am more upset about today, on the one hand we have news that James Posey signed a four year $25 million contract with the New Orleans Hornets. Posey won my prestigious “Riding in a convertible with the top down and windows up” award last season for being effective but not looking very good doing it.
On the other hand we have the news that may be the most disturbing thing to happen in many years. InBev, a Belgian brewer has bought Anheuser-Busch. To display the gravity of this situation, here is a list of beers that are no longer American: Read more
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Beantown Weather
Boston MANovember 21, 2008, 5:54 am 
Partly cloudy
current temperature: 27°Freal feel: 16°F
humidity: 50%
wind speed: 9 mph W
Windgusts: 9 mph
sunrise: 6:43
sunset: 16:17
Forecast November 21, 2008 day 
Intermittent clouds
36°F
wind speed: 9 mph WNW
Windgusts: 16 mphnight 
Mostly cloudy
22°F
wind speed: 22 mph NW
Windgusts: 43 mph-
Action!