Time To Do Work

September 6, 2008 · Filed Under NFL, PATRIOTS · 3 Comments 

by the goat... It is time. Football season is upon us. I have been putting off writing anything of substance long enough. One can only write about squirrels and beer chugging for so long. It is time to make some predictions, so here they are:

  1. Kurt Warner will blow it early. Due to franchise and fan pressure he will be replaced by Matt Leinart. In accordance with my prediction that Leinart will be the biggest NFL bust since Ryan Leaf, he will also blow it and Warner will start the last five games in Arizona. They miss the playoffs.
  2. Adrian Peterson will get hurt, but Chester Taylor will lead the Vikings to the NFC championship game. Adrian hasn’t played every game in a season since he was a freshman at Oklahoma.
  3. Matt Ryan will be a top ten quarterback.
  4. Taco Bell will sign Chad “Ocho Cinco” to a huge endorsement contract proving how out of touch they are with the latin community. The only thing less ethnically authentic than Taco Bell is the translation of 85 as Ocho Cinco. It’s ochenta y cinco you retard.
  5. The Cleveland Browns will suck.
  6. The Miami Dolphins will not.
  7. Brandon Jacobs will rush for at least 1500 yards, but the Giants will still not make the playoffs. (I will take this moment and this moment only to say: Hats off to you NY you fucking did it and you deserve it)
  8. Randy Moss will be flat broke in five years. Seriously
  9. Marvin Lewis will not be the coach of the Cincinatti Bengals when the 2009 Superbowl is played.
  10. High School’s Over.

Hambino made this prediction in the comment box, I had to add it:

  1. Peyton Manning will come out of the closet.

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