My Last Manny Man Love Post (Part 1)

September 29, 2008 · Filed Under MLB, RED SOX · 1 Comment 

by the goat… I know, I know I need to let it go, but we have until wednesday before the MLB playoffs start and the Patriots had a bye week (hopefully Tom Brady got #12 sewn up by now so he can stop wearing #16). There is nothing much to talk about, so I am sneaking in my last Manny post (which conviently has two parts).

Manny opened up a bit in an interview with T.J. Simers of the Los Angeles Times recently and the big picture is starting to develop. It is hard to piece it all together living under the spell of the Boston media, so I am going to lay it out for everyone.

Most people here get 90% of their Red Sox “news” from Dan Shaughnessy and Bob Ryan, the two worst reporters in the history of the english language. Bob is just an out of touch toolbag who for the last five years has been on a constant audition for ESPN with his over the top schtick. Dan Shaughnessy should be writing for the National Enquirer. His stories are rarely true and are so sensational that they should have original Batman television show style cartoon captions accompanying them. “Manny ate Terry Francona’s baby!” Kapow!

All of these stories that came out about Manny’s antics, they were leaked by the Red Sox to douches like Shaughnessy by other douches in the Red Sox front office (alot of douching, I know). Namely Larry Luchino. It is what he does when they are about to make a trade involving a beloved player. He did it to Nomar Garciaparra. He leaked stories about him faking an injury to get people to think Nomar had to go. It is a crap tactic and Theo was so pissed over it that he quit and fled Fenway in a gorilla suit. Now I am not saying Manny didn’t want to get traded, I am just saying that the story we were getting was nothing more than Red Sox propaganda filtered by tabloid reporters. Think about it.

As all loyal B.S.P. readers know, I have long professed my undying man love for Manny, so I do not claim to be 100% objective either. I just want to get the other side of the story out there for some of you who don’t read everything you can on the greatest manchild in the history of baseball.

In the interview with Simers Manny made a few key points about the lack of privacy for him in Boston, and how he felt like he was living in a cage. I want to point out that this supposed fire breathing, horrible teammate, never threw one person under the bus by name. He also goes out of his way to say that he loved the fans, he just hated, get ready for the big surprise… Read more

Tags: , , ,

Misplaced Man Love

August 19, 2008 · Filed Under RANDOM WEIRDNESS, RED SOX · Comment 

man loveby the goat… Okay it’s been long enough. I have come to terms with the fact that Manny is really gone. While I will always hold a special place for him in my heart, it is time to move on. I have been scouring the Boston scene for a place to deposit my man love and here are the finalists, all very deserving of man love in Boston:

  1. Jerod Mayo: This guy looks like he is going to be the real deal. A perfect fit for man love, he plays like his hair is on fire with zero regard for his own safety. Unfortunately it’s just too early to make a commitment to him, sorry Jerod maybe in a few years we can make some mustmayostardayonnaise.
  2. Jason Bay: A logical choice for sure, he is crushing the ball and looks to be settling into Boston nicely. I just simply can not overlook this photo. Posing with the lifeguard floaty thing is just too much for me to take. Jason loses out on a technicality.
  3. Tom Brady: Yeah he really needs more love.
  4. Eddie House: This one took a while. Eddie is very deserving in many ways. In the end the deciding factor was that he always has his kid with him. Even on the sideline during games. I mean how can you properly nurture a man love relationship with the kid always around?
  5. Lil Dusty Pedroia: This article is what got Dustin on the list, but in the end I would just feel a little too “Samwise Gamgee” giving my man love to such a Frodian.
  6. Paul Pierce: This post says it all.
  7. Jon Lester: Lester has emerged as the ace of the Red Sox staff this year. He is tough as nails and would be an excellent candidate if it weren’t for the fact that he is close with Curt “the Girth” Swilling. Sorry Jon but you’re guilty by association.
  8. Kevin Garnett: This post says it all, but in the end, like Mayo, it is just too soon.

In the end the decision came down to one thing. What is going to make me happiest. So I made a tough decision and came up with this:

My man love is staying with Manny Ramirez! I don’t give a shit what anyone says, we are going to make this long distance relationship work. If you don’t like it then take a hike.man love

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Man Love

August 1, 2008 · Filed Under MLB, RED SOX · 3 Comments 

by the goat… I am so sad today that I can’t write. We went from this:

manny ramirez

To this:

jason bay

What am I supposed to do with my man love now?

Recent posts by the goat

Tags: , , ,

Manny Caught Jaywalking

July 22, 2008 · Filed Under MLB, RED SOX · 2 Comments 

manny high fives a fanFrom The Globe… Seems that Boston slugger Manny Ramirez was leaving the ballpark, with headphones on trying to look inconspicuous and quickly get away from the crowds still leaving the stadium. He started to cross South Royal Brougham Way, against the signals of a traffic cop who was directing pedestrians. The police officer demanded that Ramirez open his wallet and show identification. He warned him that he could face a $500 fine and possible arrest for disobeying a police officer.

It became clear to those watching that the policeman had no idea who Ramirez was. He didn’t ask for an autograph or anything, but did ask Ramirez if he’d attended the game. After the brief lecture, and no argument from Ramirez, the police officer let him go with no further trouble.

By the goat… Alright, what the hell is going on here, he asked Manny if he had attended the game? Someone should fine the cop working detail at a Mariners game for not knowing who the Dominican dude with the dreadlocks is. I am one incident away from posting a leave britney alone style video on youtube about Manny.

Too bad Manny doesn’t play for the Patriots. Nick Kaczur had the charges against him for illegally possessing 202 OxyContin pills dismissed today after paying $355. Let’s recap, Manny threatened with a $500 fine for walking across a street, Kaczur fined $355 for two hundred and two pills of OxyContin.

Don’t get me wrong I’m happy for Nick, but it just helps to put Mannys “crimes” into perspective sometimes. The only thing Manny is guilty of is being the coolest manchild on earth. The Red Sox and The Globe better not be in cahoots again to start a smear campaign against Manny (a-la Nomar). If they run him out of town, mark my words, I will buy a VW bus, grow my own white guy dreads and follow him wherever he goes. It’ll be Manny Tour and I’ll fund it by selling grilled cheese sandwiches in ballpark parking lots.

Sidenote: Jon Lester For President!

Recent posts by the goat

Tags: , ,